Through It All
by soxx
Summary: A series of Liley oneshots &a pretty bad reflection on my music taste.


**Your ordinary shuffle-songfic. Never done one, wanted to give it a shot. Don't worry, the next chapter of Given Unsought will be up within the next week. **

**Everything contains Liley, and at least some reference to the song. Haha don't know why there's 11, but whatever, one for good luck.**

**I own none of the songs below, or HM.**

-

"_This Love" – The Veronicas_

Lilly stabs the 'End' button on her phone no sooner than it slams into the wooden door over to her right with a thunderous THWACK!

A lump sits in her throat, sore and painful, and she throws herself back onto the mattress. Her tear ducts threaten to betray her mind's command not to cry. Because once she starts, she won't stop.

Lilly stares at the ceiling, tummy quivering, chest heaving, trying to regain all the oxygen she just lost screaming her lungs out. She already feels her throat stinging from the force blasting through them during the phone call with—god, Lilly doesn't even want to think of her name.

The baby blue color of her dorm room ceiling does not calm her. She doesn't really see it. All she sees is her nearly subconsciously designed fantasy of cutting off all connection with _her_ for the rest of her life.

Shit, Lilly _knows_ she's busy! Lilly knows they, despite all the promises and ideas based on the word 'forever' that slosh into Lilly's mind whenever she thinks about the girl, which is at least fifty different times a day, have their own lives to get a handle on. Lilly's dedicated to pursuing her dreams, the ones that are all her own and aren't shared with the person she's been in love with practically since she was twelve. She really is. But that dedication takes a lot out of her, college and school and work and studying takes a lot out of everyone.

And because of that, that stress that kneads her muscles and wears away her mental stability like sand to glass, Lilly finds herself wishing to hear the only sound that can rejuvenate her; the voice of the girl she loves. Just hearing about how the other girl is doing, where she is, what she's thinking, that's all Lilly asks for.

It's all she asks for, and fuck, she _knows_ the girl's busy, but god damn, isn't she supposed to feel the same way? That's what she said; that's what she said when she approached Lilly three years ago chewing her lips off in a broken, shaky voice revealing the honesty in that fateful confession.

Lilly just doesn't know how many more missed calls she can take; how many more times she'll hear that damn recording that no longer soothes or satisfies or brings a smile to her face like the first few times it's all she heard, until she breaks every promise and shatters every idea of spending the rest of her life with this girl.

Lilly's nearly ten minutes into burning holes through the photo of her and the reason for her anger and hurt with her eyes when her phone comes to life. Lilly feels her heart flare with anger, and her stomach churn with… hope?

Lilly pushes off the bed and finds herself scrambling to the phone. She knows who it is.

Pathetic.

"Hello?" She's got the irritated scowl on but she almost wants to take it back when she hears a loud sniffle.

"Lilly—I—I… I didn't realize… I swear I love and miss you just as much as you do me… Why would I be calling if I didn't care?"

Pity swirls in Lilly's hollow chest, but she sticks to her resolve. "Why wouldn't you pick up the damn phone when someone you miss and love is calling you if you did?"

"We just went over this, Lilly… I have to study and I had Hannah shit going on. Trust me Lilly, there's no one in the world worth doing you wrong for," She takes a shaky breath. "Lilly… I can't give up on this love. So, I'm making a promise to you right now, and if I break it, I lose the most important thing in my life; if I miss one more call, we're over, if it's what you want."

Lilly is silent. She contemplates this.

"That's never going to be what I want, Miley."

And because of that fact, Lilly knows she'll never give up. Not on this.

-

"_I Love College" – Asher Roth_

Lilly lays in bed. It's 9:32, class doesn't start until 11. She's thankful for that; her searing head and dry mouth in which the taste of what dead, rotted cat must be lingers will take a bit to repair. She then realizes she feels the bed sheets and comforter on _every_ inch of her skin; she's naked. Damn, what the hell'd she _do_ last night?

She blinks and tries to remember. Nothing.

Something shifts on the bed beside her, startling her.

Lilly turns to see a shade of chestnut brown she doesn't realize she recognizes before it even sinks in who it's on; which explains her rapidly beating heart and increasingly dry throat.

She slept with another girl?! In her scarce defense, she'd never do this if she were sober. God, whatever they did probably sucked if it wasn't with—

Lilly plucks her blanket from the girl's face. She finds the beautiful face of her beloved girlfriend, Miley Stewart, before her eyes.

Lilly giggles to herself at the fact she was a heartbeat away from pissing herself for nothing. "Man, I love college."

-

"_Secret Valentine" – We The Kings_

She breaks the kiss, and defeat immediately sinks in. This is as far as the two of you usually get—braless and breathless but never pants-less. Why should you expect any more, despite it's your 16th birthday? She got you that gorgeous diamond necklace, a brand new surfboard, two adorable tops from Lucky and Urban Outfitters, and threw you an amazing party... Now guilt settles in for expecting any more.

Suddenly, you hear jingling—and, and pressure on where your belt buckle _should_ be. Your eyelids that somehow fell shut somewhere between her hands massaging your chest and her tongue and lips intertwined with yours skillfully spring open, and you crane your neck to a sight you personally find beautiful. Miley's long, slender fingers pulling your belt apart and then undoing your jeans. For some reason this excites you even further.

You're already looking into her face, silently calling for her attention, when she looks up at you with this _grin _you recognize from all those times she was about to drag you into some kind of mess, and a look in her eyes to match. It causes your breath to hitch momentarily, but you regain your sense.

"Miles…are you sure? I don't want this to be for nothing in your eyes… nothing as in something as stupid as my sixteenth year on the planet." It sounds sarcastic, but you mean it.

You watch the silver necklace with various charms hanging from it swing off of her chest and then feel her lips meet yours powerfully.

Her hands are tugging your jeans down your legs a bit while her lips are falling everywhere on your face—your lips, your cheeks, your nose, forehead, temple.

"In that case, it's not for nothing at all."

And you brace yourself for love, love given to you in actions stronger and deeper than a kiss or some words. Love that you _make_.

-

"_I Hate Everything About You" – Three Days Grace_

Miley's selfish, the world revolves around her.

Lilly's immature, she never knows when to be serious.

Miley's so conceited, she looks into a mirror and can't look away.

Lilly never takes care of herself. She skates and surfs recklessly and puts no more than a second's worth of thought into an outfit.

Miley flirts with _everybody._ You'd think a person would realize what exactly is _too_ friendly.

Lilly's a slob. She eats her food like it'll get up and run.

Only when they stop to think about it… they realize they hate _everything_ about each other.

Why do they love each other?

-

"_Pioneers" – Bloc Party_

The sand is cool around you, and despite you've been living in Malibu for well over two years, you haven't adjusted to it. You're used to the sand heated by the sun.

You're arm is touching Lilly's, one hand resting on your stomach, the other collecting the cold sand and letting it slip between your fingers. You gaze up at the stars and listen to Lilly speak.

"I mean, as intelligent as we are, sometimes its hard to understand why the world is so messed up," her voice has cracked. Its way past midnight and honestly, you love having deep conversations with Lilly. The two of you could just talk and talk forever. You love hearing her opinions and thoughts and ideas. She's clever and interesting. You love to hear her listening when you share yours with her. A great best friend… right? "But with great power comes great responsibility, I guess; and some people are just irresponsible."

"True. I wish people would realize we're not the first and we won't be the last to walk this Earth…" the first time you and Lilly talked like this, you were almost self-conscious of how corny you may sound. But you're over that. Lilly has called you insightful and intelligent in many ways, many times—that's all that matters. Her opinion.

How did this conversation start, anyways?

Oh, yeah.

Prejudice against homosexuals.

-

"_Time" – Cute Is What We Aim For_

Miley gazes out the window of the tour bus.

She is on the sides of the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans opposing her home. It's like a new world, here in London.

Her i-pod is on, playing gentle music. She's tired. For the past week she's been doing nothing but a new show each night across Europe. As natural as it may come to her, she has never, ever said performing is easy, or relaxing. But she loves it.

Miley is in that place in her head where she is half aware of her surroundings and more than half submerged in her thoughts.

The world is so big. So many roads, so many people, so many stories. So many places, environments, sights, sounds, colors. It humors the seventeen-year-old popstar that she can't wrap her head around the numbers.

But why? Why so much space? What are we here for? Just like every other human being, Miley ponders and ponders this question. She will every day she lives, of course. Miley believes you find the answer when you pass away. The gorgeous mother she sometimes sees in her dreams always wears a knowing smile that tells her so.

Her thoughts sneak over to Lilly. As always. Miley misses her gorgeous girlfriend, the one her heart beats for. Miley pictures the sky-blue eyes and silky blonde hair; the naturally radiant skin and awe-inspiring figure. Lilly is a natural beauty. Miley's never said this out loud, but sometimes she mentally refers to her girlfriend as the beach personified. Such a vibrant energy pulses through the extraordinary girl, and when her and Miley lay entangled by the limbs, Miley feels more relaxed and soothed than anything. A full-body massage couldn't measure up to holding Lilly Truscott's hand.

Miley sighs. Longing and homesickness trickles in. She wants to call Lilly, but she already gave into that temptation half an hour ago, and about ten minutes ago Lilly hung up with her because she was going to see a movie with Oliver, Connor, and a few other people.

Someday, Miley will know the answers to every question she has ever asked. And soon, she'll have Lilly in her arms yet again. It's only a matter of time.

-

"_Close to Me" – The Cure_

Lilly's far past the point of self-disgust, instead she nearly feels sick. The impatience and anxiousness coursing through her is driving her insane—although the _other_ feelings coursing through her are driving her much further. Seriously, she wishes she had just stayed asleep all day.

She comes back to herself, and finds herself out at sea with Oliver and Jackson.

She swears to god she's going through some kind of unhealthy withdraw from her girlfriend; Lilly keeps having these _flashbacks_ of Miley groaning in her ear, of emitting the desperate, high-pitched whimpers that drive Lilly animalistic like nothing else. She keeps wishing the girl would somehow pop up right beside her in the water, emerge from it with her head tilted back, droplets of water trickling down every inch of her ever-so smooth skin…

Lilly gives a nearly inaudible whine. Her fingers flex over the waxy surface of her surfboard. Just a few more hours….

*

"_God, _Lilly," Miley groans in her ear. Lilly grins into the squirming girl's neck. They're the second and third word she's heard the girl say in person to her in a week—the first being 'Hi.' (enter mischievous, suggestive grin here)—and Lilly wouldn't have it any other way. Well, obviously she wouldn't, with the way she picked the girl up around her waist and practically sprinted to her bedroom upon her arrival to Lilly's house.

They fall back onto the mattress and despite the long day of waiting, Miley and the night was finally _here_.

-

"_Decode" – Paramore_

"How can I decide what's right when you're clouding up my mind, Miley? Seriously, all I care about is being with you… fuck what society says."

"I don't know. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore, but I do know what we would and wouldn't be able to do at certain times, or what would disgust our friends and what wouldn't… it's gonna hurt…"

Lilly gives a hearty sigh. For a moment her mind wanders back to the days where she would hold Miley's hand and her entire arm wouldn't tingle. There used to be a time where her thoughts weren't always consumed with her best friend and when they actually were together she would be perfectly fine not analyzing every word she says or practically skinning her with her eyes.

Now everything is so hard… so complicated.

How they hell did they get here?

-

"_A Spill, A Slip, A Hospital Trip" – A Farewell Rescue_

It happened at 7:55 EST.

It's now 10:34 and you still haven't cried. It just hasn't _sunken in _yet.

Miley's skinny arms hold you together as the two of you are twisted up in your blankets. You're a mess right now. You have no strength, you can think of nothing but why? How? _What?_

The fact that Oliver is gone forever renews itself in your mind every two minutes and it's killing you. The sore lump in your throat only grows more and more engorged the longer you think about it.

You almost _died_. The paramedic said if anything had been thrown off by two seconds—_two god damned seconds—_you'd be in the same place as Oliver. You're not sure where that is, but it isn't in Miley's arms.

The lightning-blue-ish blur passes before your eyes suddenly. Left to right, swerving curb to curb… god, _why._

He's gone. You've spent the largest majority of your days with the boy since you could walk and now he's gone, and even though of late you haven't seen much of him because you've been so wrapped up in coming home for the winter holiday to see Miley, you were trying to today but some where along the line you fell asleep and had this nightmare where you and Oliver got into a car crash—

No. That actually happened. The broken arm you're nursing is real. The cuts and bruises are real. The lump in your throat is real.

The belated tears that now fall from your eyes harder than ever before are real.

God, you miss him already..

-

"_One Day, Robots Will Cry" – Cobra Starship_

Lilly has hurt in her eyes, but it might as well be daggers. Because the fact that Miley put it all there stabs at her even when she's not in Lilly's peripheral vision.

Miley was a _child_. Miley was stupid. Miley didn't _mean_ any of the things she has ever done. And she couldn't learn from them, obviously. She did care, she really did… she was just too stupid to learn.

Was breaking the most important thing in her world, always had been, and she knows always will be, worth the hook-ups or highs? Hell no. The regret and self-loathe that hangs over Miley's head day in and day out, every waking second, portrays this.

Miley's older now, she pleads. Then she stops. Lilly used to love the child in Miley. Still does? Well, she's still a kid, the brunette adds, just… experienced the world. It's been cold, but it's made her a little smarter.

She won't make the same mistakes.

The honesty hangs in the air, and the vulnerability in Miley's eyes is shut away as they harden.

Miley was cold, unfeeling, cruel, Lilly counters. And now it's her turn to cry.

She turns and heads the other way down the pier that has seen plenty of things occur between them since they were twelve years old.

Miley knew this wouldn't go they way it does in her sleep; in her dreams of the only one she is willing to spend the rest of her life with. She will sleep for days…

-

"_Gimmie What Ya Got" – Chris Brown ft. Lil Wayne_

Miley didn't expect being with Lilly to be like this.

Not being with her; hanging out, watching movies, going to the mall, buying her things, generally spending time with her.

No, _being_ with her. Being underneath her with no clothes on—with nothing but _sweat _between them.

Miley absolutely could never describe just how good this is with words. This Lilly is an entire other animal than the surfer/skateboarder gone girly girl than can barely keep her food in her mouth or pay attention to one thing for more than three minutes. _This_ Lilly is hot like fire, yet ice cold when she moves.

It's their six month anniversary and limbs slide over limbs nimbly, familiar spots are contacted, bliss leaks from them vocally, and, well, _physically. _

It's heating up like summer in the back of Miley customized BMW as she gives all she has to Lilly and gets all of the gorgeous blonde in return.

-

**That was so fun to write! Jeez, I should make some songfics. **

**I like Time the best:D Some were a little weird, but I dunno, I actually like this. What do you think?**


End file.
